To you sir

2 nights ago. I barely remember the day because I'd had to call off work once again because of a bad migraine. It was pouring rain and I had already given my 4 yr old a bath when I realized his WIC vouchers expired that night. I was torn. We're both still reeling from the flu, it was storming and he was ready for bed. I knew that he needed that $30 of milk, juice, bread, eggs and cereal so I decided we had to go out. We went to the closest store and they rarely have any of his milk (he drinks soy because of tummy issues) but I was ok with getting less in order to get the other stuff.  They had none of his milk so both of us went back out in the pouring rain with nothing. My son said mommy, I'm so sleepy. I knew he was but I also knew I'd just missed over a week of work taking care of him and being sick myself, not to mention the over $350 bill I'd received from taking him to the doctor. I drove him across town and told him we'd get home asap. We got the items, thank God, and got in line. The 1 line that was open at 9 at night. The young lady started ringing up the items and I started bagging them because it seemed the other employees would rather stand around. An elderly gentleman (close to 80 I'd guess) got behind me with 2 items. I understand self checkout is probably overwhelming at that age but that's where 3 employees were just standing around, so they could have easily helped. The cashier messed up on the second order so I took the items out so she could rering them. While I'm at the end of the line bagging my stuff I heard the elderly man say, What's all this? To the cashier, pointing to my items. I didn't hear her reply because all I could hear was judgment. Thoughts came racing to my mind dizzily while he began to speak with the person behind him. I stopped what I was doing and stared at him. My 4 yr old may not comprehend your words but he understands tension. Do not speak as if I'm beneath you, especially in front of my child. The man continued to talk, refusing to look at me. Tears filled my eyes. I heard him say, "We never had this crap in my day." I was torn between being hurt and wanting to knock his false teeth out. How dare he? I work my butt off, heck, I'm helping pay your social security mister. The words continued to come out of his mouth. I heard nothing except pain, judgment and animosity. I wanted to scream, You don't know who I am! You don't know my daily struggles. In my mind I was telling him, I work! Sorry I don't make over $30,000/yr. I don't receive foodstamps, I pay my rent myself. I don't get help with any of my bills. I receive no child support. I'm a good mom! I'm not here to annoy you or get one over on someone, I'm here to help my child. I said nothing... I bagged our stuff and we went back out into the pouring rain. I put my son in the car, then the groceries and drove us home. I got my son in bed and did our normal bedtime routine then went back to the car and got the groceries to put up. Why did this make me so mad? Why did it hurt me so? I guess my heart is different from some and I try to put myself in others shoes. What did he mean? What was the intent? In his day? In his day, for the most part, mom stayed at home while dad worked. Mom was there after school. Dad brought home the bacon and paid the bills. There were more traditional families. I guess I cannot accept the fact that someone judged me based on what I do for my son. I'm not prostituting, I'm not selling drugs. I work hard even on my days "off." I have a Bachelors degree in Psychology. I do these things in order Not to be a statistic or a burden on society. I want my son to see how hard I work for him. What a huge menace to society you must see me as sir. Idk why it upset you so, seeing as my taxes go to the same places yours does. I guess you would know that if you knew me. Who knew people were so judgmental over a small food transaction? I won't allow you define me and however small others may see this, you're not in my shoes either. Your words and thoughts do not define me sir. I'm a stellar woman with great values and beliefs and I stand up for them. You should be ashamed. If you've always had it so good that no one has ever had to help you, you should be on your knees crying tears of joy. I'm incredibly happy life has been so good to you that you've never had to accept help from others. One would think that may make a person more joyful and less bitter. Thank you for helping me to reevaluate my life and see what an Incredible job I'm doing wearing the various hats that I do. I forgive you. It's not in my heart to hate, I was raised better. Maybe next time you'll see the tired child, the exhausted mom and rethink things. I want to commend you on not only berating me the whole time I was being rang up but, for watching me bag and unbag my groceries with no help. I would have and still would help you. I know you won't see this sir but maybe your daughter or son will. Maybe a person will say, Omg, I've done that and my words will give them a different perspective. The world could use a lot of different perspectives because from mine, you're a sad, angry, old man. I won't assume that though, that's not me. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a mother doing all she can for her child. Hopefully someone reads this and remembers that things are not always as they appear. Be slow to judge and quick to help. Imagine how great the world could be if we followed that advice...Blessings~Ophelia~☆♡☆

Don't let technology ruin your relationships

I see it everyday. People getting mad that their significant other "liked" a post on Facebook, texts getting lost in translation, tones of voice are unrecognizable via email and arguments over the Internet. Only this generation has had to deal with this. Never before has there been such a media explosion where we know what happens, the second it happens. We're bombarded to try instagram, snapchat, facebook, voxer and a wide array of social media sites to connect with others in various ways. Guess what? We're not connecting! The more we use these sites, the less we feel the need to see each other and this is stifling possibilities of growing in our relationships. It's a movement that has moved us backwards in so many ways. You text your mom this morning to see how she is so you think there's no need to stop by and actually see her. You "liked" your friends posts at least 3 times this week so, you're a good friend, huh? You snapchatted (Is that even a word? It will be soon.) with your boss about the presentation next week so no need to do anything further because that shows you are hard at work. All of these things are actually making us anti-social.
     The paradox of social media sites is that while you may be associating with and seeing what others are doing, you are not there to hear them speak or do anything with them. I see all the time where young ladies are practically begging for a good morning text, just to be validated. While it is nice to receive a text knowing someone is thinking and cares about you, what happened to a phone call or waiting until you get to school for a good morning hug? Or arriving at school to get a 5 page letter someone wrote the night before because there was no texting. I see people quickly becoming bored with each other and how wouldn't you? You talk in person, FB, snapchat, IM, send videos etc. Isn't it just all kind of overwhelming? By time you actually see each other again, there is nothing to talk about. You know everything that happens with each other because of social media and technology. We know every single thing a person does from what they eat at which restaurant, to what time they clocked in for work. We even know the music they were listening to while do it.
     Stop it. Take a day, a week, heck if ya can, stay off social media. (I tell you this as I'm writing a blog.) It's consuming our lives. Instead of getting up and reading the paper or watching the news, we can just look it up on our phone but, it doesn't stop there. We scroll, we read, we like, we send, we chat and we "catch up" on what happened while we were sleeping or were away. 2-3 hrs of your life was wasted just because you wanted to see if Cindy Lou and her boyfriend got back together after arguing all week. It's nuts! We are simply wasting too much time and energy on people that don't care about us and to be honest, we don't usually care much about. For what? You can't get that time back with your child. You can't get that dinner back with your significant other. We're wasting hours watching what each other is doing when we could be spending time with each other. Get off the internet and read to your child. Stop playing the game and go on a walk with your spouse. Get back into the real world and make memories. All these hours wasted and we're going to be really sad that life passed us by so quickly and we didn't take the time to give dad a hug goodbye, because we were too busy texting. Don't get me wrong, social media and technology can be great when used in moderation and for certain circumstances. Just don't let it become your life. There's a whole big world out there with friends and family who love you. Get off the couch, go unplug their cord and go live.

           OneLove~Ophelia ☆

I lost something I thought I'd never lose and now, it is Forever gone

Friendship is such a great thing, especially when it's with genuine people. These people are few and far between and I'm proud to say that I have a few. When I heard the news Jan 29th, 2015, that my good friend Scott had suddenly died, my heart fell into my toes. My mind raced, my heart pounded and I was extremely nauseous. The fun times, the stories, the bond was forever gone. I was lost. I called his mother to offer my condolences, only to find out how horribly other people were taking advantage of his death. I could do nothing, completely helpless. The person who always has an idea for everything, was at a standstill. You see, Scott's estranged dad had decided that he would, because he could, pay for the funeral of his son. It is tragic for a parent to not only have to bury their child, but the burden they incur paying for all the expenses. I know because I saw my own parents go throygh these burdens with my brother. His mother had helped Scott his whole life, his daughter and 2 beautiful sons as well. I had never even heard Scott so much as speak about his father, let alone did I know his name nor had ever met him. This "man", Scott's dad, took it upon himself to make all the decisions and arrangements for the funeral. Why not? He was paying for it so he should be able to do as he saw fit, right? Except this "man" decided that Scott did not deserve to have his final farewells. He didn't deserve to have his friends and loved ones come honor him. You see, Scott's dad decided that only immediate family need be at the calling and funeral. I hate this man for that and I can count the things I hate on one hand. Scott was young and full of life so of course he had many friends and loved ones. Scott just passed away 4 mornings ago and has already been buried without so much as an obituary! How does this happen? A guy, who hasn't been in his son's life for decades, decides that he can judge who can and can't say goodbye to his son? I am Outraged! I have Reds baseball cards and Colts memorabilia to put in his coffin. I wanted/needed to see him one last time. Who is this jerk to decide that no one can pay their final respects to Anyone, let alone your own son? This is beyond my comprehension and I'm a relatively intelligent person. Scott's mom is quiet and meek and is upset. Unfortunately as time passes, she will be more upset as she realizes what this man has done. Many people do not even know of his passing. I want to look this "man" in the eye and explain to him all he robbed his son from and how he robbed all those who love and care about Scott. Tragically, that would be pointless. The damage has been done and I'll never get to see my friend again. I've been overcome with emotion by this series of events so please understand if I do not make complete sense. All I can do now is have my own personal ceremony and say goodbye to my wonderful friend. I truly hope I never have to cross paths with his dad, it would not be a good day for either of us. This is Not how I want to honor my friend but I had to get this off my chest. I love you Scott, forever and always. I know you're up there with Seth and Ryan and too many of our loved ones. I will keep an eye on your mom and make sure she's ok. Please forgive me for not knowing sooner, I would have fought for all that I'm worth to see you one last time. You had the best laugh ever, one of those infectious laughs. So many great memories I have of you and I will treasure them always. I'm so sorry I didn't know...I love you~

Don't do it if you don't love it ♡☆

     I see so many people, including myself, living life as if it is a dress rehearsal...It's Not! There are no do overs, we do not have 9 lives and the world we have is what we got. As you are reading this, is there something more important you should be doing? Get off the device you're on and do whatever it is in your life you should be doing. Do you stay in a relationship because you can't pay the bills alone, you are used to the stability or think no one else wants you? Get out of it. Excuses are no reason to lead someone on or be unhappy, plus, your kids know you are not happy. You're not fooling anyone. You hate your job? Find another one. Why wake up every day already regretting the hours you are about to waste? Is that paycheck really worth it? Go back to school, get a change of scenery and get a job that you enjoy. It is never too late to start over.
     The worst thing I can imagine doing is lying on my deathbed and regretting not doing what I wanted to do in this life. I know in my mind, heart and soul what is important for me to do on this earth. The days, weeks, and months just fly by. Either you are part of your own problems or working on the solutions. You're reading this right now and probably thinking, hey! You don't know my struggles and you are correct, but, do you know mine? I know how I Was living, what I Was doing and what I Am doing now. The difference is going to make changes in not just my but hopefully, many lives.
     Every day I wake up and pray to be a better mother, daughter, employee, co-worker, friend, confidant etc. I am not saying that I'm better than anyone or even pretend to be perfect. I don't want to be, I just want to be an exceptional person for my son to look up to. Maybe one day, I will reach that goal. Point is, I have a goal. I have numerous life goals and am working on them frequently. If you wake up and feel you have nothing to look foward to, walk to the mirror and start blaming that person. Tell the person in the mirror who you want to be, where you want to live, and that you need them to care about you more than anyone in the world. Divulge your innermost dreams for your life, no matter how out of reach they may seem and then make a plan. Literally sit down and write out the changes you want to make and goals you'd like to reach. Writing things down, seeing them and being able to look at them can be very concrete. You can never have too many dreams, there's simply no such thing.
     I guess I care too much to see people just going through the motions. I see and hear people complaining about things daily that can be changed very simply. That's my opinion though. As I said before, I don't know others situations but some people need to get a grip! I wish my life were so dull that I could complain about the pointless things that some do, (not really). The last thing I want is a boring life. I'm not saying be overwhelmed but if you are "bored", you are doing something wrong. I have not been bored since I was 10.
   Will it be easy? Probably not. Most things worth doing are not easy. You will hit several bumps and potholes in the road but you have to decide for yourself whether or not it's worth it. Decide where your priorities lie and who your choices effect. It is usually not easy to change and most beings are not comfortable with change. Feel the fear and do it Anyway! Will it make you a millionaire, famous or more popular? I doubt it but I can almost guarantee it will make you feel better about yourself and that alone, is worth it.


                   OneLove~Ophelia ☆(Andi)

So, you want to save some $? Do It!!

I constantly have people asking me how I get stuff for so cheap. I began really digging into extreme couponing in July 2013. I have learned so much since But, it is a learning process. I learn new stuff everyday. No one hands it to me, I have to find it. No one can "teach" a person how to coupon. I got tips, read, googled, read, youtubed, read, etc. Couponing, serious couponing, is like having a job. I spend hours and hours studying and looking for deals. People who do this for a living can easily spend 60+ hours matching coupons with deals and chasing these deals. It's not something you can spend 10 mins doing and save 90%. Like anything else, you must apply yourself if you wish to do it well.

That being said, they are several ways to save $ that take little time or preparation.  You still have to do some work but the savings are definitely worth it. Here are some quick, easy shopping trips that I've made within the last week and saved a good amount of money. 

1. Bath & Body Works. Ladies, we all love it and they always have sales but be patient and wait for the best ones. I got 7 hand sanitizers, regular $6.50 each, 2 mason jar candles, regular $12 each, 1 full-sized lotion, regular $12.50, 2 wallflower single bulbs, regular $6.50 each and 1 wallflower holder which was $8.50. Retail total before tax was $104.50, I paid $51.90 and that's including tax. The sanitizers were 7 for $24, the candles were on sale for $5, the bulbs were on sale for $3, I paid full price for the bulb holder and I had a coupon that got me a Free lotion. This made my purchase more than 50% off even though I paid full price for an item.

2. J.C. Penney. Rarely shop there but I needed some clothes for work. I had no time to wait for a sale so I had to deal with what they had.  I bought a pair of khaki shorts, regular $30, a pair of capris, regular $44, a top, regular $24 and a polo, regular $18. My retail total was $116 before tax. I paid $53.72 including tax. The shorts were on sale for $19.99, the capris on sale for $24.99, the top on sale for 12.99 and the polo on sale for $8.99. I googled J.C. Penney coupons on my cell phone and found one for 25% off. They wrote down the coupon code and it took an extra $16.75 off my total. I saved 55% on this transaction and there was no preplanning. Side note-it kicked out a coupon for $15 off when you spend $50 in their home department. Always watch for coupons and stuff on your receipt. They can come in handy!

3. Finish Line. I never go here but my son had outgrown all of his shoes and needed some asap and I found a decent pair for work. I got him 3 pair, normally $40 each and my pair were normally $70. His shoes were on sale for $30, all 3 pair and mine were on sale for $40. I had $20 off if you spend over $100. My retail price before tax was $190, I paid $117 including tax. Almost a 40% off savings. Pretty good for Nike, Pumas, and Under Armour shoes. 

4. Aeropostale. I usually only shop here for my nieces and nephews but needed work shirts. I bought 2 polos, regular $29.50, 1 shirt, regular $34.50, 1 tank, regular $24.50, 1 polo, regular $9.99, and 2 pairs of flip flops, regular $15 each. 2 polos were 50% off, 1 polo was 30% off, the shirt was on sale for $12, the tank was 60% off and the flip flops were on sale 2 for $10! That's a Great deal considering 1 pair is normally $15. The retail price was $158 before tax, I paid $73 after tax. Plus I got a free pair of sunglasses, retail $19.50, for Free for spending over $60. If I add in the sunglasses,  I saved over 60%!! I had no coupons, didn't plan for this trip, I just went in because I needed a few shirts. 

Here's a few tips: Always google the places you are planning to shop or even eat at, they often have coupons. 

Sign up online for places you regularly shop at and even not so regularly shop at. Most send emails out all the time with coupons and sometimes even freebies.

Look for sales! I never buy anything at full price, idk why anyone would. Our economy is on the rocks but it is fairly easy to save some $.

Look at the ads in the paper or online. Often they have stuff there that is not always advertised in the store.

Take your time if you can. I know most of us have kids and jobs etc. And shopping can be a down right pain. Drop the kids off at a friends and spend an extra 20 mins looking around. It is worth it if you save an extra $40.

*Remember, there will Always be another sale. Do you really need the 72 inch big screen right now if you can save $200 on it in 2 weeks? The choice is yours but I prefer to leave a store with money still in my pocket.

If you enjoyed this, please share with your friends and leave feedback.

OneLove~Andi ☆

A day off work

A day off of work, Yes!! No...to be quite honest,  I'd rather be working. Don't get me wrong, I love sleeping in a bit later, getting lots of snuggle time with my son and being on my own schedule, then there's what I Should be doing. I had a list a mile long of things I needed and wanted to do. I got a few done but then again, my list was enough for a week of things to do plus having a 2 yr old barking orders and fussing for no reason didn't help either. As he sits here crying, for reasons unknown, I want to be him for a day. Sleep when I want, cry when I want, have people pay attention to me because they're genuinely interested, and not have a worry in the world except to wonder if Sponge Bob is on. Maybe this seems odd or selfish to you, idk, don't really care. If I could sleep until I wanted, people would be checking on me to see if I'm dead. The world has itself in such a hurry so ya know what? I'm not going to beat myself up over what I didn't get done (which is an everyday thing for me), I'm going to be happy with what I did accomplish. I sat with my baby through therapy, did 3 loads of laundry, the dishes, went to the grocery, loved on my son and played games with him and blogged lol. It may seem like a lot to others but to most mamas, you will understand when I say I felt like I did nothing. It's O.K. It's O.K. It's O.K. The other cleaning can be done another day. The room can organized this weekend and the storage unit cleaned out...someday. Getting extra kisses from my son got done today. Allowing myself not to go 101 mph got done today. Do I do this often? No. Should I do it more often? Yes. But if I don't do it, well, you know the rest. I'm not going to allow myself to be overwhelmed because I wasn't super human today, I was just human and that's o.k. A day off work is so not what it sounds like. We too often forget that our children should get more of our time. Just because they are with us does not mean we are with them. Be with your child. Clean another day. Take a mental break. The world didn't end and probably won't, hopefully. 

A lil bit of this and a lil bit of that

2014, minimum wage is $7.25, gas is around $3.69/gallon. This means if you work an 8 hr shift, most people on minimum wage cannot fill up their gas tank from that days wages...

     Hi ★♥ My name is mom, mom, mom, mama, mama, mama, mommy, mommy, mommy, mum, mum, mum or to most of you, Andi. My full name is Andrea but so many people cannot pronounce it that I started going by Andi years ago, true story. I have a beautiful 2 yr old son and yes, he is cuter and more intelligent than your child ;) I live in a pineapple under the sea and my son and I do the hot dog dance daily. I love to coupon, volunteer, work with charities etc. I like long walks on the beach, Oh wait, that's for another site.

     My blog will be filled with random mommy days, tips on saving $, pieces of my past and present, food for thought, although, I'm not a great chef, remembering that we all live on this earth and share it etc. I might make you laugh or cry, I apologize in advance. My attention span is about that of when you are flipping through the channels on tv. If you get lost in translation...well, quite frankly, I'd be worried if you didn't sometimes.

I have stopped writing now at least 8 times because of my son. He just threw a bowl of Kix and pretzels on the couch and while I picked them up, I sat the bowl on the table and then his cup in the bowl, spilling it all over again. Did I mention how proud I am of all the single parents? They never told us about this stuff huh?

     Save your $! Do not spend it before it is in your hands. Bad habit our society has. You get your check and are already in the negative. Pay your bills! I don't want to. Sorry you don't want to work and keep popping out kids but I pay for mine, you can do for your own. We all have hardships, just because you ran out of your fav flavor of coffee creamer does not give you the right to be a jerk. Sigh, I will be back. Mommyhood calls. This was just a brief summary, more substantial stuff coming soon! Maybe...

     Namaste! This means hello, goodbye but the true meaning is I bow to the divine in you.